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oh, OH The Wells Fargo WAGON iSa…….

October 16, 2012

Hay Ya’awl!

Justa Vagabond

Vagabond Ted has taken a brake ta restratigize how he’s gonna play ouwt the endin to his book those Varmints hastened him ta write, and is also payin his respects ta Blue who was murdered by those rotten scoundrels a year ago taDay! So as his couzin Justa, I’m dewin the right thang an fillin in fer him an sharin a draft excerpt uv his book he aisked me ta check fer spellin errors. Here it tis. Lemme No if ewe has sum feedback too. Remember, it’s jist a draft.

Oh and here’s the background prelude so Ewe kin pick up the jist uv it: Vagabond Ted had ta give up his Discover Card and US Bank account soes those companies kin file fraud charges against the low life Varmints who interfered and stole his good Name and Credit. Discover sent an email ta him and here’s my reply……… The only thang I cain’t figure is how they kin send out these hare emails, an a feller kin waste all his time rightly answerin it, and then ya look an they cain’t evun read it. Oh well, at least Ewe’awl can…..

Do not pass go, do not collect $200 and certainly never reply to a company via their email. That would just be too much like offering customer service and we cant have that now, can we? Can you imagine how that would tarnish the reputatiun of the “buithneth” community parculary credit card companies?

Joe, my Couzin’s high falutin and fancy shootin citee slicker lawyerly feller is hot on the trail an gittin ready ta promiscuate and ejaculate those thare assassins who hijacked that poor Wells Fargo wagon feller disguised as a UPS deliveree truck salesman and made off with that new pot uv Discovery gold Ewe fouwks were kinda nuf ta send ta my Couzin. He unfortunately hadta part with evun his and my fools gold jist ta keep his remainin child off the streets and in magneto soes I’m sorry ta inform ewe yer jist gonna hafta wait. We jist douwn’t have no moor gold left!

RIP, Buddy
Those Vermin is headed to the DeVerminization Faculity and
they douw’nt even knowed it Yet!

Since those low life, dirdee rotten Vermin completely missed their mark with their hairbrained scheme, and instead gunned down his only son in broad daylight in front of dozens of witnesses who mind you, are so pansy assed a’feared an terrified of the consequences uv their stupiditee, they refuse to do the right thing and come forward and jist fess up. Meantime, Couzin Ted hadta go on the run, disguise hisself as a hillbilly (I know, I cain’t balieve it neither), and stay in seedy motels to protect both uv us and his only remaining family member, who has literally checked into a sleepin Coma since losing her only brother one year ago today.

There will be no piece uv phosferity in our homeless abode, nor I’m afraid no rest fer Couzin Ted’s insanitee riddled mind until this low life vermin and his band uv smelly cohorts is prostituted an humiliated an hangin by their derdee undies in that thare Facebook Peoples square!

Unfortunately, ta stay in magneto he cain’t make no credit card payments as they would zero in on us like rats ta left over popcorn at a bad Disney movie.

Please feel free to call his lawyerly feller cc’d above as he is hot on the trail of those dirty rats and as soon as he catches jist one uv em by their filthy diseased tales, I’m sure it’ll squeal like the fat neckless pig it is and then he’ll bea payin Ewe thru his snout every last penny on that account plus sum guud intrisit on yer investment in Couzin Ted and fer sendin that wells Fargo wagon back with his pot uv Discovery gold. I shore dew appreciate yer patience an thank Ewe fer your support.

Ah, but nobodee answers yer email soes ewe’awl will never see this. Never mind then and Sonje Blue!

Justa Vagabond
pms: The letter frum the Gold people is posted balow (down thare)!

Please do not reply to this e-mail as we are not able to respond to messages sent to this address.

On Oct 13, 2012 1:26 AM, “Discover Card” > wrote:


              Account ending in xxxx             

Amount Now Dew: $xxx.xx

Current Balance: $a whole lotta xxxx’es and a .xx

Dear Vagabond Ted:

We have not received an anticipated Discover Card payment from you – and your account is now past due. We understand that people miss payments once in a while — and we would like to help you keep your

account in good standing. Your current Amount Now Due is .

If you can mail your payment today, please send the Amount Now Due along with the attached coupon, so that we can bring your account up to date immediately.

If you cannot pay the Amount Now Due today, please call 1. You will speak with our knowledgeable and friendly representatives and they will help you select a convenient form of payment.

We appreciate your business. Again, if you have any questions, please contact us toll free at 2 between the hours of Monday-Friday 8:00AM to 11:00PM, Saturday 8:00AM to 4:30PM EST.

If you have already mailed your payment, please disregard this notice.



Cardmember Assistance, Discover Card

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