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Emptily Happy after All

November 29, 2012
Once Upon a Timeshare thare was…..

Hay Ya’awl,

Sometimes it ain’t Vagabonds or the Homeless that kin use a good writin abouwt.  Sumtimes, it’s the Homed.  This hare storee is a sort uv historee lesson abouwt how one seasoned uv a generation of Homed, dun fergot abouwt the Homeless in the first place.  Now I knowed historee is’unt supposed ta repeat itself, but it shore kin dew that speciully when you’re too busy glancin the uther way.  Now maybe, jist maybe we kin all glance tagether the right way fer a spell and learn this hare historee lesson good enuf, and quick enuf ta still change the ending.  I knowed Hollywood wood’unt mind creatin a new ending, and maybe evun sum uv them thare Stars and Starletts could use one uv their own Homes ta help in the rewrite effort.  I knowed, I knowed, I gits ahead uv myself and too excited sumtimes, but one kin always DayWish.

Anyway here’s the historee lesson uv how it came ta pass that the Homed actually escalated Homelessness when they wasn’t evun attemptin to, soes here’s a storee abouwt Escalatin and Elevatin (in reverse)….
Once upon a timeshare, in a land so much closer ta home than far away, they actually called it USuvA, regular fouwk developed a summertime Sunday habit.  They’d git the neighborhood kids rounded up, pack em up inta the Packard, pack a picnic lunch, throw it on top, and drive along the highway till they found a good spot fer a roadside picnic.  Wa’ell this habit became more popular year after every year until it took on a kinda ritual status.  Purdee soon the kids started growin so much, while the fouwks were also still a’practicin their multiplyin, that they did’unt have room left ta take the neighbor kids.  They also hadta start drivin further cuz all the good enuf spots fer picnics started gittin paved over with more road, which ledta havin ta stay overnight, which meant the Mom and Pops that were dun practicin their multiplyin, hadta build Motels fer the multiplyers.

Wa’ell abouwt the same time everyone started gitten their favorite Mom and Pop motel destinatiun in mind, the Packard started sheddin it’s fins and tailfeathers which meant the roof started a shrinkin, soes thare wasn’t evun room for packin a picnic basket, and then that ole dawg started slippin right off what was left uv the roof!  Knot wantin ta git a Romney reputatiun, Packard changed it’s name ta Datsun ta honor awl the dead dawgs, as well as ta describe their new vehicle, which did’unt have no room fer packin.  Wa’ell also abouwt this same time with all the multiplied and grown kids and no room fer packin at’tall, all uv the Mom and Pops Motels were also always filled up, soes folks started lookin fer and kneedin more permanint places, ta store all thier stuff on their new extended stay, Sunday ta Sunday summer roadtrip destinatiun vacations!

Still bein the frugal USuvA back a seasoned generation ago, fouwks did’unt thunk they should show off so much ta the neighbors, but still wanted and evun needed moreso ta have their summer destinatiun vacatiuns.  That’s abouwt when everybody’s favorite Uncle dacided ta step in an dew sumpthin abouwt all those overflowed summertime vacatiun destinatiuns.  Uncle Sam dacided it would be ok sincen fouwks did’unt have ta pay no tax on purchasin their own homes that they should’unt hafta pay no tax when they is ouwt purchasin vacatiun destinatiuns neither.  Soes davelopers got ta capitalizin and buildin on all the new purchasin, and low and behold fouwks started havin homes away frum homes soes they could leave their stuff thare evun when they was’unt at their new private vacatiun destinatiun.

Wa’ell this ledta allot uv summertime destinatiun homes that was reel empty when noBody was on vacatiun at thare private destinatiuns, soes Uncle Sam got wise again and said Ewe could share those as speciul no-tax havuns with uthers who wanted ta go on vacatiun, as long as they did’unt have the same time destinatiun and ewe’awl was considerate enuf ta purchase time ta share from yer neighbors!

Wa’ell this kinda put Mom and Pop right otta busyness soes they all retired and went on permanint vacation, leavin all the Mom and Pops Motels reel, real empty.  Abouwt this exact same time fouwks started realizin they all sew reely wanted the same time fer vacatiun, as well as the same destinatiun.  It also started ta dawn on them right smack over the head, that not all owners knowed rightly whose stuff was whose when sharin time was up soes when only sum er none got left, it was never rightly left again fer the fouwks that left it, so it never got allowed ta be left again fer those that thought they were the ones in the right time, the next time!

Wa’ell if’n that did’unt start a torrent uv those former sharin time friends and neighbors right ta repackin, which stopped that old clock dead from timesharin, which turned all those new Toyota and Datsun owners back inta needin Nissan Suburbans and Road RaiginWagons reel quick.

The new old Packard at the same old
Mom and Pop
(without the dawg)

It also dun remade all those oldfashioned timesquared condo sharers, back inta singularly minded sumBodys taward their  private vacatiun destinatiuns, who then hadta turn back all that  extra unshared time back inta emptily available.  So nows ordinary everyBodys who knows a sumBody, kin have a vacatiun at sumBodys elses private favorite vacatiun destinatiun and even when thay’re dun with it, kin still leave it real Emptily Happy after All!

Blankly Staring into the Sunset, they stayed
Emptily Happy after All!

What’s the moral of the storee?  Next time Ewe head taward sumBodys Emptily Happy after All vacation destination, don’t fergit ta remember the Mom and Pops (told ya it wasn’t about Vagabonds or the Homeless)!

And they stayed Emptily Happy after All!

If ya lieked the storee and wood liekta bea real Somebody, please make $um difference fer a Vagabond’s vacatiun from the Homeless Camp.  This is one uv my favorite Vagabond destinatiuns that really is Happy, but sadly, is never empty.   Happily, there is Vacatiun destinatiuns fer Vagabonds! (click on this link ta visit it!)  Thank ya kindly in Advance,  Vagabond Ted


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