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Write Me In!

May 4, 2013

Write me in and I’ll come back!

Monopoy money
The Monopoly

Hay Ya’awl,

If ewe is anything like me ya jist couldn’t wait ta open yer Saturday junk mail taday and I’m shore glad I did! In the middle uv that now rubber banded stack was this year’s ballot fer the Pouwk County Co-oped Electrical monopoly, strangley named, “Polk-Burnett”. 

If yer also liek me and have owned a house in that thare strangley named area, ya haven’t seen an ownership rebate in the past 20 years or so from that co-oped monopoly in the form of a check.

X Box
The X box

Wa’ell low and bahold thare’s a spot up fer election on that Monopoly’s board of dye-rectors and with jist the one unresponsive comatosed Incombpetent re-runnin fer re-election unapposed!

Soes, I’ma excited ta announce my write in candidacy fer this hare open bored seat! Jist like Mayor Bloomberg, I’m forebearing any outside intrists dirdee money, and am financing my entire campaign, including payin up the nose fer my crack volunteer electoral staff, from what’s left uv my minuative fortune from my recent attempt ta flee Wall Street.

Shebang
The whole Shebang

Unlike the mayor, I ain’t gonna attempt to nor portend it’s my duty to change the electoral laws ta retain my position till I’m ready ta launch the next step ta expand my national kingdom. I’m jist gonna go down ta bookkeeping and aisk what’s the holdup on gittin signatures and mailing all those
customer rebate checks?

English: New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg wi...
English: New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg with Spider-Man at Midtown Comics Downtown. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Soes when ya see this in yer Junk mail, open it up, douwn’t jist throw it out. Put yer X in the box instead, fill in my name, thats spelled V. A.G. A. B O. N. D. T. E. D, sign it and send it right back on out.

I’ll sit in that bored chair, I’ll git some action otta thare committee, they’ll start gittin those checks out, then I’ll go fishin!  You have my word as a new politrician on that!

Vagabond Ted

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