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Shopping Cart History – prelude, part II

Shopping CartHay Ya’awl,

I was preparing ta publish the next chapter in my personal Vagabond Autobabliographical trilogy of philosophical, virtual all cyberworld internet worldwide web Wanderings ,when I was hasten-ly stopped by real world PoPo-lice, the police! The transgression yer mind is right now considerin ta ask??? 

Yup, it guessed it, far right! This Vagabond got caught returnin his SuperMegaInconveinentWhatKnotStore’s shoppin cart tanite!
There I was, on my way back ta the SuperMegaInconveinentWhatKnotStore’s overflowed parkin lot from the two blocks where I hadta park my car in front of my house when I couldn’t find a spot ta park in that overflowed SuperMegaInconveinentWhatKnotStoreParkingLot, when that thare police car turned on his flashing lights, did his 180 on that rushed hour street, then turned on his siren to screech to a haul from the one block away from that abbr. store!

Now normally I woulda let a minor transgretiun like this fly right on below and beyond my need ta write abouwt it, had it not been fer jist walkin by one of my Vagabond friends temporary sleepin place, and findin the new “For Rent” sign, subliminally already super imposed over it, indicatin he finally got “accepted”.

Looking for WorkFor those of Ewe Homed that are feigning newly ignorant, thus unaware of the present day Vagabond (Homeless) Calamity, “accepted” for a Vagabond means he won the SuperMegaImpossibleTaWinBall Lottery and jist got qualified for a section of a place he can call home, referred to as an Eight. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m as tickled pink as Klayton woulda been had someone called his Mom offerin her some work, that after two+ years his lottery number finally came up bafore his number was up. I jist miss stoppin by and chattin abit at his place which is so convenient ta rest at when I’m returnin my cart ta the abbr. Store parkin lot.

So there I was, explaining to the police why I hadta park two blocks away from the abbr. store lot, which just happened ta be in front of my new non-Vagabond temporary until coalitionally underminded and pulled out from under me again home, wondering is this it? Am I going to finally face my destiny and be arrested for being a Vagabond when I’m finally once again knot really a Vagabond? Wa’ell this police guy was kinda green, and knot jist under the gills, soes when I pulled out my valid drivers license, with my valid address on it, which is within the 2 block radius of the Suburban Shingled, outer first ring that the SuperMegaInconveinentWhatKnotStore was plopped down next to bafore the city could rezone it and force the plop to at least be popularly appealed, and explaining why I parked there, he took on a reel green nodding look of disbalief, and let me go.

For Rent
Newly Available?
Highly desirable temporary location?

Soes instead of publishing the story I worked on all weekend ta publish, Im giving this current events report. Here is the picture and advertisement for my buddy’s super Eight section lottery replaced place. Now this place is purdee upscale for a Vagabond, offering central all atmospheric, year round seasonally impacted air conditioning 24×7, and wide open world wide web wifi, sky all around. Why, couple that with the valet public transit curbside service station jist in front, and the temporary backup shelter with the section 8 waiting list porch overhangs just behind, and you have a reel nice year round spot ta sit and
jist wait.

So if’n Ewe’awl knowed anybody that may bea lookin for a premium temporary Vagabond place, drop me a comment hare or email me, and I’ll take ’em around and show ’em the place. I could use another good friend to sit and talk to awhile, while I wait for the “surprise” coalitionally conspired eviction notice, forcing me to once again flee, from my temporary reprieve from Others’ Insanity place.

Vagabond Ted

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Shopping Cart History – prelude, part II

Hay Ya’awl,

I was preparing ta publish the next chapter in my personal Vagabond Autobabliographical trilogy of philosophical, virtual all cyberworld internet worldwide web Wanderings ,when I was hasten-ly stopped by real world PoPo-lice, the police!  The transgression yer mind is right now considerin ta ask???

Yup, it guessed it, far right!  This Vagabond got caught returnin his SuperMegaInconveinentWhatKnotStore’s shoppin cart tanite! Read more…


…Emptily Happy after All

All the Homeless

Without enough food to eat,

Who unfortunately also

Have nowhere to sleep,

Yet these stay

Emptily Happy after All.

This is the video montage, music courtesy thus far of R.E.M., that goes along with the story of the same title, Emptily Happy after All.  I recently found a very tranquil and thus now Favorited and treasured Vagabond Hiatus spot along the Oregon Coast.  While out there relishing in my solitude throughout a recent major holiday season, I walked along the coast many evenings to bask in the crisp of an Oregon sunset…

The day immediately after the first holiday leading up to the Major, I strolled down along this road, curious about what a “Happy Camp” looked like.  All these photos were taken along that road and beach during that one night’s stroll. The intent was not to avoid any human beings, there just didn’t happen to be any human beings there  as that fine Oregon fall day faded to it’s nickname, Black.

Hence, the inspiration for the story and this video montage.  A recent statistic from a post in the Google Community, Homeless in America, states that for every Homeless person in the U.S., there are 24 empty homes.  I guess I found my one group of those 24.

I hope you enjoy, can take the opportunity to also puruse the story, and once again,

thank ya kindly in advance fer hikin along the trail with me.

Vagabond Ted


Happy TurkeyDay DayWish – music montage

The faces and places of the Homeless 
we pretend to no longer see, 
as we celebrate the bounty 
of the All we’ve achieved.


This is the video montage that goes along with the story of the same title, Happy TurkeyDay DayWish.  All pics were taken by me in the cities of Seattle WA, and Portland OR, between May through Thanksgiving 2012.  Music courtesy (thus far) of R.E.M.  I own the DVD and online recording, created it and posted it to YouTube which accepted my understanding of fair use.

However, on another music montage  where I used the 40+ year old song Monday, Monday by the Mama’s and Papa’s, copywriter purchaser UMG did not accept my  interpretation of Fair Use or the twice appeal.  I don’t record allot of music, and was very surprised based upon the MILLIONS of songs recorded on YouTube that my picture montage would be pulled after receiving a whopping total, 17 views.  But, as one of my new favorite WordPress blog authors likes to say, “That’s another Story” .

I hope you enjoy, and thank ya kindly in advance fer hikin along the trail with me,

Vagabond Ted

I’m new here on WordPress so I apologize if this isn’t proper, reposting someone else’s post. I can’t help but cry every time I hear this song, so I cant begin to imagine what she felt everytime she sang it

Eric: no glam nor glitter nor pics, just plain old story

What a No-glance passer by sees.

I’m going to combine the comment I owe you regarding Romney with the feedback you’re requesting here on Homeless in America.  This is the 4th time I’ve sat down to type and lost this, so this time, I’m at the laptop with autosave turned on.  I”m going to publish it on my blog as well since a story was also on tonites “ta dew” list. Read more…


Tranquility & Safe Harbor from Others’ Insanity

Even Still

there appears to be
a great deal of
brain dead Stupidity,
and self righteous Hypocrisy, 
on this most unwelcomed,
one year anniversary
of the death of me,
 In  the hills of Wisconsin,
Minnesota,  Iowa, Florida, 
and Especially,,,
 Across the pond in the Motherland of all three, 
as well as the originator of Mutiny, 
The completely unGreat Brittany.
 In a final effort to cleanse myself of all of thee, 
and help what’s left of Humanity,
avoid your sorry Impropriety,  
I write my last Epitaph and curse upon ye, 

for all the world to see

Commerciul Advisemint

Hay Ya’awl,

Now I dun gave my word this hare blog would be informative, funny, inspirin, AND commercial free! Now maybe my word taint ben as good as my Granpa’s useta be, taward those first three (in yer mind at least), but its ben rocked solid on that last one. Till now.

When yer Vagabond souls jist need thee most relaxin experience a sole could ever aisk fer on this plain ole exit stance, try a couple blasts uv this in yer tub. Its heevenly!

Its affordable ta even us vagabonds at any store proudly dasplayin this now almost universally worthless sign:


I swears on my Granpa’s constantly rollin over grave upon it,


Vagabond Ted

Useta be, useta hafta, useta dew

* Do you know the origin of the shopping cart?
Read thru for a htory lesson at the end.

Hay Ya’awl,

Thare comes a time in the evolvemint of everyones currint exit stance, ta take an upstand-dance and tell the world why they’re standin way out thare dancin in the wind all alone firstly, and what that thare, way out thare stance is all abouwt secondly.  Now, since noBody dun told me the rules fer standin in the first place, and since’n I never could figure ouwt howta follow them their rules good enuf ta meet sumone elses standterds in the second place, I’m skippin firstly and goin right ta secondly. Secondly, if’n I was ever lucky enuf ta ever land in second place in the first place, I was purdee darn happy ta jist be a’standin thare.  Soes without further ta’dews in life ta stance upon, hare’s what its (the stancin up is) all abouwt…..

Remember when Ewe was a kid and those special and evun sum uv those knot so speciul old timers in yer life useta suddenly start talkin abouwt their good old days?  Ewe was jist so excited abouwt goin somewhare new and discoverin sumpthin knew ya had’unt ever seen so never hadta knowed abouwt bafore, when that special er knot so speciul old timer would put the NO on it, squashin yer new excitemint inta jist another knowed.  Wa’ell, Ewe all knowed what’s now a comin next… Read more…

Introducing: Vagabond Rails

Hay Ya’awl,

Sometimes, storees happen. Soes here I am pullin another weekend over-nighter, gittin my new Temporary Employmint Service fer Vagabonds off the ground soes they kin git some money and be Homed at least temporarily fer a change, and just finishing settin up my fancy new, multi-zero dollar international online advertisemint, and hit send ta roll it out…..

Hot off the Google Press! *

Wa’ell, like any new NoWhares near a Fortune, let alone 500 dollar company CEO,  I cain’t wait ta see my multi-zero dollar bonus fer knot havin ta dew much at’tall, soes I cain’t wait fer my production staff ta give it ta my admin staff, ta edit and polish the revisions ta run it back thru the production staff fer editin and polishin, just soes they kin show it ta me.

Instead, I use this hare Googlie Search, type in Vagabond Rails in Portland OR, and this is what it finds!

Could I please ask all Ewes ta dew me a favor?  Since this isn’t yer average NoWhares near a Fortune let alone 50 dollar company, my productiun and admin staff is purdee sparce and unresourced, soes I’m afraid it’s gonna be awhile bafore I git ta see much uv anything productioned otta them, or that multi-zero dollar bonus anytime soon, soes couldja help spread the word?  Here’s the link to that brand new outRolled multi-zero dollar international online advertisemint.

Vagabond Rails – A way back ta SumWhare

Couldja please click on the link ta show yer support and maybe that there new fandangled googlie AlGore-ithmic deevice kin count enuf clicks ta publish it ahead uv this hare article about our ancestors?

Please dew it quick cuz we all knowed how their storees have now turned ouwt, so naturally want ta avoid their natural same fate fer as long as we possibly can!

Thank ya kindly in Advance,

Vagabond Ted

* This storee Ewe hopefully injoyed taday was made possible by the gift from up above, from those fine fouwk who usta work over at Vaseline Hair Tonic.  Ta honor their gift, 80 odd years in the making, I’ve dun some fancy rescuvation on a tech,-nological basis, to show off their formerly known as state of the artwork hare balow. Maybe we’re supposed ta take a lesson from this 80 odd year old message, about “returning to scalp normalcy” by relating those that kin treat their hair ta weekly tonic sessions, inta the immoralcy of the current Vagabond Calamity, the Homeless vs. the Homed. Jist an afterthought. VT
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